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This Just IN: Shaving

November 27, 2011

October 31:

I think I wanna shave tonight. Or maybe tomorrow. This whole ‘No Shave November’ thing is kinda annoying to me to be honest. And I’ve let my beard grow out long enough as it is.

November 9:

It is a good thing I didn’t shave, Alex likes it longer and she’s bringing her camera. I’ll shave it after she leaves.

November 27:

I think I want to shave. I still haven’t yet and it is getting itchy…

Nah, screw it. Happy No Shave November guys!



This Just IN: Laundry

October 23, 2011

1 OCTOBER 2011:

I really hate doing laundry. I always feel like I have to sacrifice the better part of a day/morning every time I do it. But considering I ran out of underwear like three days ago, it ‘s about time that I bite the bullet and wash my clothes.

I’m starting to realize that I need to get my life together. Yeah, I moved on from pizza and cinniepies, but my nights can’t keep ending in five buck boxes from Taco Bell either. I just keep getting fatter and poorer everyday, and the point of college is to become skinnier and poorer. I would be missing out if I skipped out on half of the college experience.

23 OCTOBER 2011:

I finished my laundry this morning.

Rosa is next to me…

October 19, 2011

Two months ago, shortly after writing my last post, I set out on an epic quest spanning the globe lasting until now. I found much gold and treasure and many beautiful women that I all brought home with me. You can imagine my roommate’s reaction…. I gave him half my women, so he was pretty stoked.

Weather here isn't nearly as balmy these days

What I’ve really done for the past two months?

A lot of nothing. I’ve been practicing piano (and sleeping through piano class) a lot. So that is going well. I am starting to be able to use both hands. To do it. It. *Dramatic pause while your puerile minds snicker at my horribly forced innuendo*

My play opened! It closes tomorrow, too, actually. This is the first show in a while that I’ll be upset about it closing. This is ironic because I’ve already done it. You, know, it. Twice. *Blank stare, because obviously this time it refers to the play, not intercourse. Perv.*

The same friend who I visited in New York last semester came and visited for a long weekend. He got to see my play in the tech rehearsal process, so I apologize for how long he sat there and watched while we tried the same transition eight times, switching sound and light cues and such. It is crazy how people and things change yet they can still function well. Another thing that is interesting to note is how change and growth in people can be vastly different. People are affected by different situations differently, and they change accordingly. Some things for a person make them grow more than others. Longer, some would say… [I’ll stop, I promise].

I’m scanning back through my iCal to see what else has been happening. Sometimes when there are long gaps in posts, it is because I’m too uncomfortable to gush about all my feelings and my sad, sappy life. In this case, I’m pretty sure it is just because my life took a turn for the slightly boring. And all of my creative juices weren’t able to spruce up any of it to make it worth writing about.

Oh! I finally know what it feels like to break a heel. At this year’s Fall Fest, in addition to convincing some of the carnies my origins in Belfast, Ireland, I was perusing the fried food vendors when the heel of my left hipster boot, as Alex calls it, flew off into some random shadow filled with evil and the money conned out of small children trying to win a Domo doll. In my, uh, heightened state, I was unable to track it down. So, anyone know how I can fix it?

Stay tuned (if you know what I mean),


(TRY to make something out of that, just try!)

LaMo (Lazy Monday)

September 19, 2011

Classes are cancelled. I’m waiting for a text from one of my favorite gingers giving me the ok to bring Lego HP over. Today is gonna be awesome!

Why are classes cancelled you ask? The Monday before the opening for a mainstage show all theatre classes are cancelled to focus all our collective efforts to finish the technical aspects of production. What makes this CoMo so much better is that since the cast has a whopping three people total with minimal set, I don’t have to do anything. And classes are still cancelled! Everything’s coming up roses!

So….uhhh….What do you do on a day like this? I haven’t had a free day since being back. Sure, I’ve had weekends. But even on every weekend I’ve had something to do on each day. Lego HP will be fun, but I can’t play it all day. Well, I probably could. I’d only have no friends afterwards. I could bug people who have things to do today, but again I’d have no friends afterwards. I could eat because I’m bored, but I’m so miserafull from last night I don’t know what to do with myself. My stomach has been subject to some sort of biowarfare hidden among the cinnie-pie from Papa John’s. What to do….

Expertly laced into the icing, Formaldehyde slowly seeps...

I think I’m going to end up just letting fate decide, to guide these lives we lead. Even though I love planning things out because I feel secure once I’ve made one, I want to slowly ween myself into being able to calmly and comfortably improvise plans. I’m thinking that will make abroad next year more fun and less stressful. There is some profound quote that’s like “A true traveller has no destination” or “has no plan” or something like that. And by god, if I’m not a true traveller, at least I’m a true adventurer. So whatever happens today will happen. Classes are cancelled. Happy CoMo to me!


3.5 – Too Young

September 10, 2011

Classes have been deceptively challenging but still really easy all the same. It isn’t that I have a lot of homework, so that’s easy. But because of my lack of homework and the like, I get really unfocused because I have not that much to focus on. Which makes weeks like this past one seem much more stressful than I think they really needed to be.

I changed jobs. I actually had to do things in two of my classes. I started working in the Ticket Office as well. REALLY STRESSFUL STUFF, K? I mean, I doubt the normal stock of human beings could have persevered through the mundane challenges I faced this week. On Fridays, I can’t sleep in anymore. I have to wake up at 8! Who does that?! I’m half tempted to call up child services and report child abuse on the administration, but being 19 makes the child services people a little less cooperative.

So what does an adventurer like myself do to add a sense of danger and excitement to dreary overcast life here? Load up on Cinnapies from Papa John’s and go behind enemy lines.

Let me give you some background information on this operation: This summer, being of slightly sound mind and body, I decided to break free from the chains of oppression and pretend I was older than I really am. I was hitting the bar scene. Who, I thought, would have the audacity to even do it? By my confidence alone, they’d never suspect I had two and a half years left before I had security clearance. For a while, it worked for me. I became a Karaoke King. Central Texas had never seen such passionate Nicki Minaj raps. Guys (well, just one) were buying me drinks left and right. But all mediocre things must come to an end (a boy can only take so many Dirty Farmers), and I was kicked out. Mind you, this was a Friday night. The next Friday, still sore from my last attempt, yet still hopeful, I decided to go to a bar and play by the rules. I got huge ‘X’s on my hands and didn’t drink anything at the bar. I loaded up at home (duh). Yet still, something in my behavior warranted my underage ass booted to the curb. No but really, after I got kicked out a second time I sat on the curb for about 20 minutes while my of age friend was all alone and lost inside. Mind you, not only anther Friday night, but the Friday immediately following the Friday I was kicked out of the first bar. Katy Perry: I demand royalties. Clearly I inspired your smash hit Last Friday Night.

Coming back to college, I was determined to never let that happen again. So with the help of my dear Canadians, I have obtained a successful Polyjuice alternative that has yet to fail me. I haven’t seen even half of what it can do for me and I’m so excited. Though the first time I was scared shitless. Well, even the second and third times were equal parts exciting and terrifying. But that is what an adventurer seeks! It’s Adventure Time!

Maybe my obsession with this show is a dead giveaway of my age...

Yet through all of this, braving heavy legal ramifications and slight moral conflicts, I can’t muster up the lady balls to figure out how to make friends with this guy. I’m baring it all for you. My blog doesn’t usually cross over into meshy personal stuff, and I’m not going to start now, but if any of you out there have any advice for someone too shy to make a move, let me know.

Stay Tuned,



The Troll Bar

September 4, 2011

I figured out a lot of things this summer. Three isn’t quite as magical a number as Britney makes it seem and LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7 comes out this holiday season. I also figured out what I’m going to do, should acting and politics fall through.

I’ll open the Troll Bar.

I forget if I have talked about it on here previously, I know sometimes in real life I’ll mention it and expect everyone to understand what I mean, but instead I’m met with looks similar to those given to Carrie (from the 1976 classic Carrie, starring Sissy Spacek). But this summer when I threw some really low-key classy soirees at my house I workshopped an idea for a bar that I think will become real popular. It all started when a friend of mind scared me one night because she reminded me of the goblin from The Princess and the Goblin. As we were walking somewhere (to be honest I can hardly recall anything about it, this is just how I think it could have happened in my mind), I saw her shadow shoot out in front of me, and in my state the shape and physicality of it ruled out being a human. And since I couldn’t remember the word goblin at the time either, the term “troll” was born. Since then, whenever she does anything lazy or gross or really funny, I call her a troll. It is a term of endearment for me and I had the most fun this past summer when either she or my self or any of our friends was acting like a troll.

Troll Chic

Back to the small gatherings this summer: I transformed my kitchen into the Troll Bar, and for two weeks it was the coolest place in the world. We served great drinks, great food, and a great atmosphere. At the time, it was just a really fun thing to do at my house while my parents were gone. Now, I kinda actually want to do it. Good idea yes? Let me run some of our drink/entree ideas past you all for input.

But before I begin, everything made at the Troll Bar was a stroke of inspiration. No recipes were followed or written during the creation of these items, nor will anything at the real Troll Bar.


  • The Chili Sandwich – This classic Troll Bar original was the start of it all. Two pieces of fresh bought white bread lathered with canned chili and velveeta cheese microwaved to perfection.
  • Troll Sludge –  Another Troll Bar classic, this is a perfect mixture of bacon-bits macaroni and cheese, chili, and beef ravioli, heated on our professional stovetop ovens.
  • Green Chicken – For those Troll Bar patrons who like things a little south of the border, our green chicken is white meat breaded chicken patties baked to perfection and coated with green jalapeno Tabasco sauce. Served with a side of spanish rice.
  • Southern Steak – Maybe you like things south, but not quite as much as the green chicken. Our southern steak is a chicken-friend steak patty baked to perfection and coated with A-1 steak sauce. Also served with spanish rice.
  • Texas Chicken n’ Rice – Our latest addition to the Troll Bar menu, this dish is the most popular. Stir-fried chicken marinated in black bean and corn salsa, mixed with corn and other vegetables, dashes of jalapeno and banana peppers all mixed in a batch of spanish rice
  • Troll Bar Margarita – The Troll Bar’s most beloved and famous drink, a perfect (and strong) margarita using the super-secret house recipe.
  • Limarita – This profound drink was inspired by not having the right ingredients for the above, but it is still delicious and at a reduced price!
  • Facepalm – An alluring and interesting drink that gets in your face. Contains brandy and coke.
  • Thunder Whiskey Tea – This totally intentional combination of rum tea, whiskey, and Dr. Thunder doesn’t taste 100% awful and gets the job done.
So to be honest, all of these were actually made by me or one of the other Troll Bar executives. Why? It was all that we had in our respective houses, and to us cooking is an adventure. They might look disgusting, but they tasted ok in the end and we had a ton of fun making it all. And that is what the Troll Bar is all about: having fun while just trying to get by with your friends. So! Our tentative opening date is third quarter of 2020. City has yet to be determined. But until then I’ll be compiling all the dishes and drinks the Troll Bar puts out.

Trollz Forever!


Back to Black

August 22, 2011

As you probably noticed, I haven’t posted in a while. I know you all must have been dying to know my latest escapades and things that I should be embarrassed to write out but never have been. For all of you (read: Raby), I apologize. I was doing things that were simply too exciting to write down and that if I were to tell you any of them, I’d have to shoot you on sight.

In news that I can tell you, the rest of my summer was pretty tame. I sold some knives and I served some sushi. I had a party and sacrifices were made. I was kicked out of every bar I went to and things were expensive and hard to get.

Man it feels good to be away from all that and be back in Evansville.

I’ve been back on campus since Saturday after a three day caravan of just me from Texas. I drove it all alone and had to fend for myself. And when the government tried to assassinate me in Arkansas, I killed them all and only suffered minor casualties. Alright, so that isn’t exaaaaaaactly what happened. But I’ve told the story so many times already that I’m exhausted with it and am bad at re-telling it at this point. And I’m hoping that it has caught enough momentum to become like an urban legend and it will grow and become more awesome with time. Maybe then it will be a huge tornado that I was driving through.

I got all moved in yesterday with my roommate. NERD ALERT: It almost felt like Willow and Buffy moving in together. I was going to tweet about it (follow me at!), but then I foresaw the collective groan of all my followers reading it. This will be weird for me because my roommate this year is both from America and can speak fluent English. I think it will be better, but he hasn’t offered me any free tea from his home country yet.

So yeah. Not much really going on, just getting back into the swing of things. It is so weird having friends who were abroad different semesters all here at the same time. And then having half my class gone is strange as well. But it feels good to be back here. Now the summer, while it had its great moments, can fall back into memory. Classes start Wednesday, so maybe I’ll feel differently then, but for now I’m super excited to hit the ground running and have an awesome semester.