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The Drowsy Chaperone

April 18, 2010

Last night I attended a wedding. I LOVE WEDDINGS!!! Whats more, is that I wasn’t ONLY in attendance, I felt even more important because I got to help out with it all. I was a fill in usher because one of the Bride’s cousins was unable to make it, so I escorted people to the wedding via golf cart. I was so legit.

After everyone had been safely carted, I stood by the door into the house (the wedding was in a beautiful and scenic backyard of a veritable mansion) and pretended to have a duty while standing by my back-up-boyfriend Leah. All jokingly though. She actually is the girlfriend of the bride’s brother, therefore he couldn’t sit with her because he was in the wedding party.  I hope he knows he has competition.

The set-up period of the wedding was beautiful, despite bad weather reports. The bride&groom and wedding party took beautiful pictures while the ushers ate cookies and sandwich triangles. Things were looking up.

Unfortunately, when we looked up at the sky, the tides were changing. By the time the ceremony actually started, the skies were deeply overcast.  Midway through it started to thunder. Leah and I worried we would have a beautiful blushing damp bride.

The weather held out just long enough for the wedding ceremony to end and get the bride inside. The timing of it all was very strange. Great, but strange. I then found my lighter and started up my candle-lighting duties. I was in charge of all inside candles, but the outside candle man was having a hard time. Under the tented patio there were a couple of tables with candles atop, but the wind kept blowing them out after he had continued on to a new candle. Watching the whole ordeal was pretty funny because he insisted on getting all the candles lit. eventually he did give up.

My theatre director was in attendance, and with her she brought two theatre alumni. One was becoming a producer, the other had a published play. Pretty intimidating for this kid who tries real hard but comes up short. Anyways, while she was leaving, she told me one alum in particular (let’s call him Fred) was looking to talk to me. O               .                O

I had no idea what to say to him other than gush and over-compliment and make things awkward. I hate talking to strangers. Those parenting books were too effective on me. I still believe girls have cooties. But I digress. He eventually found me and we kinda sorta talked about theatre and stuff. The whole thing was very uncomfortable for me. Like, he would ask a question and I would answer, try to make a joke, and insert forced laugh/chuckle. And he just looked at me, maybe smiling a little, rarely an exhalation of amusement.  WHATDOYOUWANTFROMME?

I hate talking to strangers.

Thankfully the bride’s sister/half-maid of honor/my date rescued me and brought me out to the dancefloor, where we danced the night away. Oh, did I mention this was the same night as prom? I think in a comparative analysis the wedding would come out on top by a large margin.

So we danced the night away. Then it was time to go home. Getting back in my car I started the hour and a half drive back to my house. At eleven forty. I wasn’t worried at all. That is until I kinda-sorta dozed off and swerved a bit. I needed Red Bull.

So I got one at this sorta-sketch  Shell station somewhere between Georgetown and Salado. The sketchiness was confirmed when I went inside and everything was mostly dirty and the cashier had this crazy eye going on. The sketchiness was cemented when someone outside asked me if I knew where to get some cocaine <=/

But I did make it home alive and awake. Good day? Yes.

Tune in next time,


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