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How to Succeed in Travel Without Really Trying

March 20, 2011

Greyhound.

Pure, plain, and simple.

That is, if you measure success by final product, then yes, sure fire way to do it.

It is  not a success at time-efficiency. My trip home (which should have been only a whopping 27 hours) was 36 blissful hours of crowded, arid, bus sleeping and reading and chip eating. Oh, also some peanuts and a ham n’ swiss Lunchables I bought at a gas station/arcade in Pennsylvania.

Getting back eleven hours late (4 am, folks) set me significantly behind in preparing for this week. So how does a well-put together, responsible, hardworking college student respond to the situation?

Sleeping through nearly every class and putting off homework to the very last minute. I’m telling you guys, I’m losing it. Spring break is slowly unravelling the hard working, driven man I once was. Now all I want to do is eat huge chain-restaurant style burritos while reading Harry Potter. Is that so much to ask? Spring break also made me want to drop out of school, mostly because of laziness and my unwillingness to return to school. Spring break was too good!

It started off on the Greyhound like all good adventures should. Greyhound has this nice policy of making sure you get to your destination no matter what. So in attempting to get to Rochester, NY to start my Spring break adventure, they had me go first to Louisville, and then to Columbus. Not too bad, right? Well, as often with Greyhound, we were late, so instead of taking me to Columbus, they had me go to Indianapolis first. Where I spent close to four hours waiting for the next bus. Over these hours, I read a multitude of Harry Potter chapters from my favorite installment (The Order of the Phoenix), I watched some prime TV, and had a fatigue induced emotional roller coaster. And I met some Quakers. Who knew they were allowed to ride busses? I was prepared for all of this, and brought with me a ton of snacks. One was a bag of molten hot wing Ruffles. I was really perplexed at my choice until much later into the adventure, because at the time, why did molten hot wing chips even sound appetizing?

Finally, I make it to Rochester five hours late and ready to party. My friend was accompanied by his friend, and his friend’s friend who had a car. So on the way to this hole in the wall Mexican restaurant, we were all some degree of stranger from one another. But my amicable genes kicked in and I think it was only about half as awkward as it had the potential of being. After dinner, we went back to his dorm.

Rochester dorms are very much like my own. The furniture is exactly the same, and the room layout is also similar. Except his room was equipped with only the smallest of corner lamps, so he had to buy many lighting fixtures of his own to properly light the place to look inhabitable. Without which, it looked similar to a dungeon. After I got settled, he showed me around campus and, having seen his and lived in mine, I could write an entire post as to why Rochester is so much better than Evansville. They have a tunnel system! And Panda Express! And they get like $800 spending money! I demand change, UE!!!

After my tour, my friend asked if I wanted to go out to a club. So, my faithful readers (total: 2) already know that I’m not one to object to a good time, but this time I was wary. First off, in my strict budget layout for the trip I did not include a cover charge. I would need to do some adjusting. Secondly, when I left Alaska, we were hardly party kids, so I was worried about how he would judge me in that setting. We went, and it was totally fine. It was actually a lot of fun. But I must confess what happened at Tilt stays at Tilt. My lips are sealed, and my phone picture gallery is full of blackmail.

We got up real late the next day and went ice skating for about an hour. I love ice skating, and Evansville’s skating apparatus is crowded with awful awful children. So this was a nice change. Later, we went for coffee and ended up at his friend’s apartment and played Super Smash Bros. Brawl for five hours. I’m not kidding. It was AWESOME. Afterwards, we watched How to Train Your Dragon (the only thing my mom didn’t get me off my Christmas list and instead got me a dvd that looked like it was made in someone’s garage about a girl traveling the world. “What? I know you’re going abroad next year and thought you’d like to see it and prepare” – Mother Schneiders) and Easy A. Both were my choices, and I sort of felt bad because I didn’t want them to think I was making every decision, but they all liked the choices, so score one for T!

The next day we woke up late (again) and went to the National Museum of Play. If I ever decide to get a child, I am taking it here. This place was seriously cool. All of the exhibits were interactive, and they had a hall of super heroes and for fantasy characters, and the showcase exhibit they had was an interactive history of video games. We played the very first version of Pong, and let me tell you, it is super hard. you can move up and down AND left and right, and the ball moves so fast! Thankfully, it doesn’t keep score, or else my friend would know that I lost won.

That night we went back to his friends apartment and watched Spirited Away, and played more video games. However, this time the giggle juice was brought out. My friend and I both had this logic in our minds that we wouldn’t drink until the other started, which was funny because we both just wanted to anyways. So eventually we started going at it, and surprisingly finished the movie. After, we were going to keep watching something, but decided to play more video games. Guys, it is known that the longer I play a video game, the worse I get at it. That rule is multiplied by ten in these conditions, especially when trying to drive my Magicruiser down Rainbow Road. I was literally a wreck.

All of a sudden it was morning, and I realized we had stayed up all night learning to words to Volevo Un Gatto Nero and trying to figure out how to time travel speed. We had no time to sleep or pack or anything before we had to be on the train to NYC. It was then that I realized not only were both my friend and I wasted, but it was his first time. Yikes. Somehow we made it, and I had a hugeeeeeee hangover. I slept most of the train.

To Be Continued…..

~T

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 20, 2011 5:13 pm

    Dude …or Dudette …I’m a living example of how to succeed in travel without trying. I am serious too. If your from Trenton, I probably live no more than 20 minutes from you. Nigeria, sure, what the hell, I’ll go. Afghanistan last year …why not? Sudan, sounds fun, gulp. Syria, Jordan, Egypt, no problem. Yemen, I’m in. India, Japna, China, Cameroon, Ethiopia, Benin, Togo, Mali, Senegal …sure. I’m tellin ya – the less you actually “try” the more you can achieve. 🙂
    Nice article,
    John

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