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Wilson Phillips Saved My Life

June 4, 2011


The Death of a Salesman.

For all my devout readers, this is nothing new, but last summer I had a hard time finding a job. This summer, the stakes have been raised. Thankfully, I was able to find a job. But this time, at the cost of my soul.

I have just barely worked with Vector Marketing for over a week now. My (unpaid) training was last Thursday-Saturday, so technically tomorrow will be my first full week or real on-the-job working.

I hate every second of it.

Like Willy Loman, I am not well liked. The new face of Cutco, I am met by most with unwillingness to help. I get paid just to show people the stuff (not sales based), but understandably, people don’t want to even listen to my spiel. The work isn’t necessarily hard, it is just awful on the soul. I shamelessly call people and beg them to see me and then when I do I shamelessly beg them to buy something (I do get paid more if they do). Also: my nickname at the office is ‘Twilight’ (real original). Also: somehow I’m #2 in the whole office. That would be a really cool thing to brag about, but not in this situation. I’m diligently scoping out an exit strategy, finding another job so I can quit this awful soul-sucking one. So actually being somewhat good at this job makes quitting it altogether more tricky. Not that I have a lot of other leads waiting for me. Only in America would it make sense to discriminate against student workers (who would basically do anything for any money and with a lot of drive) because they aren’t a good investment. I had a particularly devastating bit of that with the Home Depot. I’m hoping I don’t run into it anymore.

So over here in my corner I’m all wahhhhh wahhhh waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. In the other, my awesome friend Mikah Young is coming out with her first single on iTunes pretty soon.

So last night we decided to hang out after our respective jobs, she a struggling artist/cafe hostess, myself a struggling artist/door to door by-appointment salesman. We went and got pizza and caught up some more, watched an episode of Ugly Betty, and then we did something marvelous: we saw Bridesmaids.

If HP:DH Pt. 2 wasn’t coming out this summer, Bridesmaids definitely would win the cake-walk for my favorite movie of the summer. I urge all of you to see it. Not only has it been called a social responsibility to save the ‘chick flick’, but it is also hella funny and awesome. And uplifting. This might be morbid, but two nights ago in bed I had the strangest feeling in my toe, like a bug bit it. When I am tired (and also a little bit sad) I like to hyperbolize and intensify my situations. So, in my mind, my toe was bitten by a black widow spider and I had but hours to live. I had an internal struggle as to whether I should bother my parents by waking and telling them or if I should just try to sleep through my impending death. I ended up just sleeping. As I retold this to Mikah on the way to the movie, I realized how not-funny it was while I told her. Or, at least, she didn’t get the sad humor in it that I did. Not all among us are Poe’s of the world. *Edit, lo and behold, she IS a Poe

So we see the movie and it is fantastic. It was just what I needed to get me over a slump in my life. During the aforementioned Home Depot fiasco, I also had a more personal revelation that led to further unravelling after the job news was brought to me. But the movie, and more specifically Wilson Phillips, has turned me around. Look up/download the song “Hold On” by them ASAP. Not to be a spoiler or anything, but the song kind of sums up the whole message of the movie I think. And has irresistible pop hooks that sink right in. But make sure you see them in 90s hair. 90s hair Wilson Phillips is so much more awesome than Adult Contemporary Wilson Phillips any day.

That. Hat.

So, instead of dwelling on the badness, I’m going to start listening to Chyna Phillips and stop waiting around for the circumstances to change. So I have a sucky job. I’ll make a change myself and pick myself up and make it better. Or at least I’ll hold on to that hope longer before I let another black widow bite my toe in bed.

Stay Tuned,


P.S. I have been struggling in my love life between two people. To conceal their identities, they will have code-names. The first will from here on out be called Natural and Talented Actress, or as I like to say, NATA. The other will be called Jalapeno-Eating Nutmeg-Almond, or JENA. More to come on them later.

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