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3.5 – Too Young

September 10, 2011

Classes have been deceptively challenging but still really easy all the same. It isn’t that I have a lot of homework, so that’s easy. But because of my lack of homework and the like, I get really unfocused because I have not that much to focus on. Which makes weeks like this past one seem much more stressful than I think they really needed to be.

I changed jobs. I actually had to do things in two of my classes. I started working in the Ticket Office as well. REALLY STRESSFUL STUFF, K? I mean, I doubt the normal stock of human beings could have persevered through the mundane challenges I faced this week. On Fridays, I can’t sleep in anymore. I have to wake up at 8! Who does that?! I’m half tempted to call up child services and report child abuse on the administration, but being 19 makes the child services people a little less cooperative.

So what does an adventurer like myself do to add a sense of danger and excitement to dreary overcast life here? Load up on Cinnapies from Papa John’s and go behind enemy lines.

Let me give you some background information on this operation: This summer, being of slightly sound mind and body, I decided to break free from the chains of oppression and pretend I was older than I really am. I was hitting the bar scene. Who, I thought, would have the audacity to even do it? By my confidence alone, they’d never suspect I had two and a half years left before I had security clearance. For a while, it worked for me. I became a Karaoke King. Central Texas had never seen such passionate Nicki Minaj raps. Guys (well, just one) were buying me drinks left and right. But all mediocre things must come to an end (a boy can only take so many Dirty Farmers), and I was kicked out. Mind you, this was a Friday night. The next Friday, still sore from my last attempt, yet still hopeful, I decided to go to a bar and play by the rules. I got huge ‘X’s on my hands and didn’t drink anything at the bar. I loaded up at home (duh). Yet still, something in my behavior warranted my underage ass booted to the curb. No but really, after I got kicked out a second time I sat on the curb for about 20 minutes while my of age friend was all alone and lost inside. Mind you, not only anther Friday night, but the Friday immediately following the Friday I was kicked out of the first bar. Katy Perry: I demand royalties. Clearly I inspired your smash hit Last Friday Night.

Coming back to college, I was determined to never let that happen again. So with the help of my dear Canadians, I have obtained a successful Polyjuice alternative that has yet to fail me. I haven’t seen even half of what it can do for me and I’m so excited. Though the first time I was scared shitless. Well, even the second and third times were equal parts exciting and terrifying. But that is what an adventurer seeks! It’s Adventure Time!

Maybe my obsession with this show is a dead giveaway of my age...

Yet through all of this, braving heavy legal ramifications and slight moral conflicts, I can’t muster up the lady balls to figure out how to make friends with this guy. I’m baring it all for you. My blog doesn’t usually cross over into meshy personal stuff, and I’m not going to start now, but if any of you out there have any advice for someone too shy to make a move, let me know.

Stay Tuned,



One Comment leave one →
  1. October 1, 2011 5:48 pm

    Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog. A great read. I will definitely be back.

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